“It's not the destination that matters. It's the change of scene.” ~Brian Eno
A little morsel about me that I find hard to admit even to myself is that I crave the taste of an end result, the feeling of the rush of crossing a finish line.
Lately, life has been encouraging me to look at the longings of my soul, the things that motivate and drive me, that keep me moving ahead and reaching for more; and what has been gently whispered to my innermost being in the hushed tones of full disclosure is that I am chasing after the light at the end of the tunnel so very often.
When did this begin, this ever-so-slight, imperceptible little deviation from focusing on the process to looking a bit too far ahead to what's at the end of the lane?
Perhaps it began so very quietly and slowly years and years ago, with each little pain, each little blow, each little dream unrealized, each attempt to go into something whole-heartedly, with full effort, only to not have things pan out as I had hoped or imagined.
These may have been the seemingly weightless pebbles that added up over time without my realizing it, silently tipping the scales in the direction of a slight distrust of myself and of life, and how things generally unfold.
Maybe it was the sting of those moments that created rumblings below my surface that caused me to place unconscious emphasis on how something turned out—the destination—more so than on taking pleasure in the process, and finding joy in even the strange moments of life.
The more I think about it, the more I begin to see that there is no end result, not really, just all the doing along the way, all the living...
Perhaps this all has now culminated in my attempt to steer the ship, trying to make certain to bring it to land, all the while missing too much of the beauty of the view of the sea, the feel of the wind, the warmth of the sun, the smell of salt, even the menace of the clouds, the dark skies, and the raging waves.
I have a hunch that it may be the fear of loss and the pain that accompanies that which has kept me from fully finding pleasure in the process, my process, and trusting it to provide exactly what I need at every stage of my life.
See, finding the pleasure in the process is being OK with experiencing the unexpected bumps, rough patches and disappointments along with the wonderful little happy surprises and unexpected “extras” that life offers up, and trusting that it is all a part of the wonderful equation of life.
It is about two paths presenting themselves before me, and me simply choosing one and seeing what I discover along the way. As for where I'll end up? Well, that'll be determined.
The more I think about it, the more I begin to see that there is no end result, not really, just all the doing along the way, all the living...
That there really only is the process, and the rest is an illusion. That there is no completion of anything truly, or an actual grabbing of the carrot dangling at the end of the stick, only some perceived version of that.
No, all of life happens in the process—in the twists and turns, in the missteps, in the good decisions, in the giving of one's heart, in the sharing of love, even in the turning away of oneself—and it can all be missed if the imagined “end” is fixated upon.
Because what if the ending isn't the one I imagined?
What if the goal is never met, or the desired result never realized? Would it all have been a waste?
For me, the thought of that is utterly heartbreaking, and seems counterintuitive to the very nature of our existence where nothing is arbitrary.
Therefor the only way to see it is that the meaning of life must be found in the process of the living of it, which is the ultimate pleasure, and truly the ultimate accomplishment.
Taste what's good and pass it on.
Ingrid
“From The Heart” is a space for me to share some of my more personal thoughts on life. Here you'll find my reflections on my own inner/spiritual journey; on being a wife and mother; on being a creative; and general observations, pretty much whatever is on my mind.
I whole-heartedly believe that sharing "from the heart" with one another is what connects us, heals us, and inspires us! Glad you're here...
Deborah A Behney
Ingrid, beautifully spoken. I so look forward to your posts. Thank you.
The Cozy Apron
Thank you so much, Deborah...much love to you!
Elizabeth
Ingrid, I first discovered your blog in August of 2017 and was so moved by your post about being both an early bloomer and a later bloomer. Now, after an incredibly hectic season of my life over the past two years, I returned to your blog today and read this post. Once again, it is exactly what I needed to hear, and I thank you for sharing your wisdom. I hope to have more time and space to try more recipes and take more pleasure in the process. Thanks again!
The Cozy Apron
Elizabeth, first of all, thank you for your readership of almost 2 1/2 years.
I'm so touched that you've been uplifted by some of these personal posts, and I, indeed, hope that you will have some time and space to peruse more of them, and be comforted.
Thank you so much for sharing with me, and I hope you have a blessed and joyful holiday season, one in which you can enjoy the process and revel in the light that is there!
Steven Ashton
Ingrid,
I recently found you through your delicious recipe "Steak and ale soup", which I made with some minor variations, (I used fresh venison). I enjoyed your recipe description so much that it just pulled me in to try it out and then I read this post. This post really spoke to me as I seem to spend so much time pondering the day to day difficulties of being a dad, when I should savor those fleeting moments by knowing and feeling every second, whether pleasant or not. I will think about your words "The meaning of life must be found in the process of living it". Thank you for your writings.
The Cozy Apron
Steven, glad you enjoyed the recipe as well as the writing in the post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here...may you enjoy all of the colors and shades that parenting brings you, and may you have the daily strength. 🙂
Cindy (Shilling) Lauchlan
Hey Ingrid! I have loved your blog forever, bring a fellow Lake Orion Dragon. I idolized you back then and still do. I use and share your recipes often. This post spoke to me, especially now when everything is upside down and I feel like I’m pulled in so many directions that nothing is getting the attention it truly deserves. I need words like these to remember that it’s ok to find a different path. Even if it’s not the path I saw a year ago, there is still beauty to be found and much to appreciate. I hope you’re doing well and surviving the 2020 storm.
The Cozy Apron
Oh, my precious Cindy! So wonderful to hear from you...I'm thrilled to read that you come by the site, and occasionally find a recipe or a post such as this one to enjoy.
It really touched me, what you shared. You are right that life seems so very upside down right now, and please know that you are not alone in your feelings of what seems like a lot of "coping" these days.
It is not only OK to find a different path, but I'm personally realizing it is actually a must. Flexibility and the ability to pivot will be the saving grace going ahead, with everything going on the world in general, not to mention in our own lives on personal levels.
I'm finding that each day brings both beauty and challenge (though some days seem a bit heavier on the challenge, right?), and the less resisting I do the better off I am. It's a tall order, easier said than done, but there is more relief to be found in that, I'm sure.
This year has forced all of us to reexamine pretty much everything—priorities, what we think we need, and also how and where we find our "light", or what motivates and guides us. I have a feeling it will continue into next year, when we'll be required to implement what we've been learning.
Anyhow, I am so glad that you reached out my friend, and I send my love and well-wishes to you and your loved ones, that you will find strength and peace in each new day. Please don't be a stranger, and I hope you continue to find nourishment of all sorts here on my site!
Hugs and kisses, Cindy! xoxo