“Yet among all the distractions and diversions of a planet which now seemed well on the way to becoming one vast playground, there were some who still found time to repeat an ancient and never-answered question: “Where do we go from here?” ~Arthur C. Clarke
It's quite something what can be revealed when there is more silence and stillness, and less distraction...
Being about two months into my new endeavor now, and embracing fully new habits and rituals—new ways of being and experiencing—I can tell you whole-heartedly that I feel like a different person, a new person. And it's quite an extraordinary feeling.
Even my husband Michael says a change in me is evident—that I seem more centered, more focused, more at peace, and more productive than ever, and that is something I take to heart very deeply. It means so much to me to hear him say that, especially in such a vulnerable time for me when so much is new.
When I began this new year and this new chapter in my life, what I wanted to make absolutely certain was that I would use this opportunity to stretch myself and grow, develop my inner life and begin my evolution into becoming a new creation.
I was determined to take all of the tools and talents that my Creator has endowed me with and fully embrace them; perhaps even find some that I didn't know I had, and make Him smile with delight at my tenacity to discover what He made when He made me.
I wanted to leave aspects of my old life behind—the job that I had grown comfortable with, the skill set that I relied on to carry me, the view points that I had, even the fears, anxieties and frustrations that were a part of my fabric. I wanted to move on, because I had sensed for quite some time that they no longer served me.
Simply, I had outgrown them…
As I've been living and spending more consciously, reaching for only the necessities and those things that truly nourish and enrich me on a soul level, I've realized just how much “padding” was once there to buffer the feelings and to placate that lizard brain...
It was time for change, time for me to push myself out of my comfort zone, out of spaces that were far too familiar to me, and into places yet to be discovered and experienced. And in doing that, I felt that I would be getting closer to the more authentic me, the me that I am now.
And perhaps it is indeed the me that I am now who I've been discovering as of late, through this new path that I have placed myself on...
The waking early each and every morning to write, the conscientious budgeting, the silencing of the television almost completely except for maybe an hour late in the evening when Michael and I sit together to watch a show or documentary; the picking up of a new skill by way of learning about food photography and the work flow for putting up a post on our site—all of these have created a new discipline in me.
It has introduced me to a part of myself that I never realized was even there, creating new desires and a new vision for my future, even though the specific details of that are yet to be fleshed out.
That is the part that I am leaving up to my Creator to surprise me with. The work, however, the willingness to step up and out, is up to me.
Having more silence and stillness, and less distraction, has allowed me to go deeper, and have more of an unobscured route straight to the very center of me, straight to my soul.
As I've been living and spending more consciously, reaching for only the necessities and those things that truly nourish and enrich me on a soul level, I've realized just how much “padding” was once there to buffer the feelings and to placate that lizard brain—that ego—that is in constant need of a steady diet of the fresh, raw meat of distraction and “noise” to keep it comfortable and held at bay.
The lizard always prefers to keep one from asking too many questions, from rocking the boat a little too much, and from wanting more from life...
And when there's little to placate the lizard, things can get a little uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling in the beginning, because that is when it begins to writhe and lash out.
But stay on course long enough, stay determined to follow through on expecting more of yourself and not settling, and that lizard goes from writhing and hissing to retreating into the shadows... it knows that it's no longer going to be fed in the way that it is used to being fed.
Becoming more bare, more exposed, places one in an interesting position, and a time comes when that choice needs to be made to either rise to the occasion or to turn around and hightail it back to familiar territory. And as for me, I'd like to keep going forward into the unknown...
There is so much more yet to discover, and I can tell that I'm only just getting started…
Taste what's good and pass it on.
Ingrid
“From The Heart” is a space for me to share some of my more personal thoughts on life. Here you'll find my reflections on my own inner/spiritual journey; on being a wife and mother; on being a creative; and general observations, pretty much whatever is on my mind.
I whole-heartedly believe that sharing "from the heart" with one another is what connects us, heals us, and inspires us! Glad you're here...
Roseanne V. Sabol
Hello, Ingrid ~ (this is so late because we're doing some remodeling around our home and are a little topsy-turvy. It's all for a good end, though.)
And, you are busy ~ in a different sense than before ~ really working on yourself and making such good use of your time, gifts and energies. I am so enjoying hearing about it and isn't it wonderfully cool that all this is happening as Spring is about to explode with all new growth! The metaphor does not escape me.
Sending love.
The Cozy Apron
Hi my dear Roseanne, I was so, so excited to read that you are doing some remodeling— how exciting! (Not so much the part where your home is a disaster area, lol, but the finished result which will hopefully yield a lot of joy and comfort!) I appreciate your thoughts...Yes, so much happening, both internally & externally, and the fact that spring is pretty much upon us, it is especially poignant. I love how life keeps us all on our toes, always presenting opportunities for us to experience it (and ourselves!) in a new way. I love the potential for change & growth that each new season brings...Much love to you! xoxo ❤️